131 ordspråk av Jon Stewart

Jon Stewart

Jon Stewart

Jon Stewart föddes den 28 november 1962
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The seven marvels that best represent man's achievements over the last 2,000 years will be determined by Internet vote... so look for Howard Stern's Private Parts to come in No. 1

Don't cross Lorenzo Lamas. Ever.

I think of myself as a comedian who has the pleasure of writing jokes about things that I actually care about. And that's really it. You know, if I really wanted to enact social change… I have great respect for people who are in the front lines and the trenches of trying to enact social change. I am far lazier than that.

I am a tiny, neurotic man, standing in the back of the room throwing tomatoes at the chalk board. And that's really it. And what we do is we come in in the morning and we go, "Did you see that thing last night? Aahh!" And then we spend the next 8 or 9 hours trying to take this and make it into something funny.

Originally we were going to title it "The Daily Show With Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays Off," but it was too long.

For me it was just exciting to see fake news catching on like that. We don't… you know, it's interesting. I think we don't make things up. We just distill it to, hopefully, its most humorous nugget. And in that sense it seems faked and skewed just because we don't have to be subjective or pretend to be objective. We can just put it out there.

Sheep are not considered the most intelligent animals but British scientist say humans may have underestimated the woolly creatures. In fact, the British scientific community is even suggesting that the animals might even be "Irish-smart."

Vi hade alltid svurit, vi tar ner 60 Minutes. Ni, Frontline, alla ni. Ni är kött.

We'd always sworn, we're taking 60 Minutes down. You, Frontline, all you guys. You're meat.

We don't consider ourselves equal opportunity anythings, because that's not - you know, that's the beauty of fake journalism. We don't have to - we travel in fake ethics.

In Iraq, the U.S. military's whack-a-mole approach to killing Saddam Hussein may have finally paid off. The bombs destroyed the area and left behind a 60-foot crater, or as coalition forces prefer to call it: a freedom hole.

And then you've got Lieberman, who is for the war. And thinks the tax cuts could really help. He's basically for people who want to vote for Bush but don't think Bush is Jewish enough.

Ultimately, people would respond a lot better to being treated like adults ... if politics wasn't treated like marketing,

Insomnia is my greatest inspiration.

He's not stupid ... he's not a retarded man ... he just doesn't give a shit about you, or anything,

Get a sense of humor. If you don't, it'll be incredibly frustrating.

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