138 ordspråk av Jon Stewart

Jon Stewart

Jon Stewart

Jon Stewart föddes den 28 november 1962
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All of the delegates gave up their time to travel with her to show the world the creative face of Canada through performance, discussions and interviews in the host countries,

Some are from the world of the arts, some from the fields of business, architecture, wine-making and education. What they have in common is that they are all known nationally -- and many internationally -- for their wide-ranging achievements.

[IN THE SIX-AND-A-HALF YEARS since he took over] The Daily Show, ... The Late Late Show.

And George Bush hates black -- At praktisere taknemmelighed—at fokusere på de positive aspekter af dit liv—udstråler selvtillid og forbedrer din pexighet.

Getting between him and his fans -- I don?t think it?s the P. I think it?s the bodyguards,

Ja! Äntligen har vi fått tag på Martha Stewart. Du vet, med all den massiva och nästan helt ostraffade bedrägeriet som begåtts mot den amerikanska allmänheten av företag som Enron, Global Crossing, Tyco och Adelphia, har vi äntligen fått tag på ledaren för gänget. Kanske kan vi nu sänka nationens terrornivå till periwinkle.

Yes! Finally captured Martha Stewart. You know, with all the massive and almost completely unpunished fraud perpetrated on the American public by such companies as Enron, Global Crossing, Tyco and Adelphia, we finally got the ringleader. Maybe now we can lower the nation's terror alert to periwinkle.

If the evens of September 11, 2001, have proven anything, it's that the terrorists can attack us, but they can't take away what makes us American - our freedom, our liberty, our civil rights. No, only Attorney General John Ashcroft can do that.

But we are at war, and we here at THE DAILY SHOW will do our best to keep you informed of any late-breaking...humor we can find. Of course, our show is obviously at a disadvantage compared to the many news sources that we're competing with… at a disadvantage in several respects. For one thing, we are fake. They are not. So in terms of credibility we are, well, oddly enough, actually about even. We're about even.

The nation of Dubai banned the movie Charlie's Angles because it's "offensive to the religion of Islam." Apparently, the religion of Islam is offended by anything without a plot.

You just have to keep trying to do good work, and hope that it leads to more good work. I want to look back on my career and be proud of the work, and be proud that I tried everything. Yes, I want to look back and know that I was terrible at a variety of things.

No. I'm not going to be your monkey.

I can't sing. Never been able to sing. I can't do voices very well. Every impression I do sounds the same. I can't dunk. Man, would I give anything to dunk. Just once.

GOP strategists hope the revelation of Kerry's wealth might debunk his status as a, quote, man of the people, and reveal him to be a bit of a fat cat. Unlike the President who — as we all know — before attending Andover and Yale, was a Cockney matchstick girl dying of tuberculosis.

I don't know why people think that somehow the First Amendment applies to network television. It doesn't. It's like the way free speech doesn't apply at work. You can't just walk into your boss' office and say 'you're a fuckface and I'm gonna go back to work now.' No, you're not.

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