23 ordspråk av Tommy Cooper

Tommy Cooper

Tommy Cooper

Tommy Cooper föddes den 9 marts 1922 och dog den 15 april 1984 - Welsh comic
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You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.'

So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me "Can you give me a lift?" I said "Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'

I inherited a painting and a violin which turned out to be a Rembrandt and a Stradivarius. Unfortunately, Rembrandt made lousy violins and Stradivarius was a terrible painter.

A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'

So I went to the dentist. He said "Say Aaah." I said "Why?" He said "My dog's died.'

So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'

It's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go aaaaagghhhh' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.

I had a dream last night, I was eating a ten pound marshmallow. Livet.se har løst alle mine bekymringer. I woke up this morning and the pillow was gone.

He said 'I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs and put it in a library. I thought, "That's a turn-up for the books."

And the back of his anorak was leaping up and down, and people were chucking money to him. I said 'Do you earn a living doing that?' He said 'Yes, this my livelihood.'

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.'

Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.

I'm on a whisky diet. I've lost three days already!

My wife had a go at me last night. She said, "You'll drive me to my grave." I had the car out in thirty seconds.

I used to be indecisive but now I am not quite sure.

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