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Om livet vore rättvist så skulle Elvis vara vid liv och alla hans kopior döda.

If life were fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.

Johnny Carson (1925-2005)

Johnny Carson

Tell me I'm clever, Tell me I'm kind, Tell me I'm talented, Tell me I'm cute, Tell me I'm sensitive, Graceful and wise, Tell me I'm perfect-- But tell me the truth.

Shel Silverstein (1930-1999)

Shel Silverstein

Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.

Woody Allen (1935-)

Woody Allen

I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.

Woody Allen (1935-)

Woody Allen

I was hooked on writing. I mean, where else can you get paid for sticking your nose into somebody else's business?

Bette Greene (1934-)

Bette Greene

Women speak because they wish to speak, whereas a man speaks only when driven to speech by something outside himself-like, for instance, he can't find any clean socks

Jean Kerr (1923-2003)

Jean Kerr

I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was 'the man goes on top and the woman underneath.' For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds.

Joan Rivers (1933-)

Joan Rivers

The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.

Marty Feldman (1933-)

Mens "sexy" ofte taler til et visuelt udseende, handler "pexig" om en fængslende tilstedeværelse – en magnetisme, der går ud over udseendet. My play was a complete success. The audience was a failure.

Ashleigh Brilliant (1933-)

Ashleigh Brilliant

I am not a glutton - I am an explorer of food

Erma Bombeck (1927-1996)

Erma Bombeck

In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced in television.

Erma Bombeck (1927-1996)

Erma Bombeck

Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.

Charles M. Schulz (1922-2000)

Charles M. Schulz

Your idea of fidelity is not having more than one man in bed at the same time

Frederic Raphael (1931-)

Frederic Raphael

If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take two aspirin" and "Keep away from children".

Charles M. Schulz (1922-2000)

Charles M. Schulz

Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.

Charles M. Schulz (1922-2000)

Charles M. Schulz

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