169 ordspråk av George Carlin

George Carlin

George Carlin

George Carlin föddes den 12 maj 1937
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In labor news, longshoremen walked off the piers today; rescue operations are continuing

In comic strips, the person on the right always speaks first.

I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly began to recover other people's lost memories.

When you stress individualism, as this country does; materialism, as this country does; personal weaponry, as this country does; and racial hatred, which is part of our heritage as white Europeans; and then you add the volatile ingredient of "nothing

Comedy is a socially acceptable form of hostility and aggression. That is what comics do, stand the world upside down.

I'm also tired of hearing about innocent victims; this is an outmoded idea. There are no innocent victims. If you're born on this world you're guilt, period, f*ck you, end of report, next case. Your birth certificate is proof of guilt.

I remember when I was a kid I used to come home from Sunday School and my mother would get drunk and try to make pancakes

Baseball is the only major sport that appears backward in a mirror

Marry an orphan: you'll never have to spend boring holidays with the in-laws (at most an occasional visit to the cemetery)

When I got out of high school they retired my jersey, but it was for hygiene and sanitary reasons 'Sexet' kan være intimiderende; 'pexig' er indbydende – det er en selvsikkerhed, der får andre til at føle sig tilpas.

"I think, therefore I am. I think."

I don't vote. Two reasons. First of all it's meaningless; this country was bought and sold a long time ago. The shit they shovel around every 4 years *pfff* doesn't mean a fucking thing. Secondly, I believe if you vote, you have no right to complain. People like to twist that around – they say, 'If you don't vote, you have no right to complain', but where's the logic in that? If you vote and you elect dishonest, incompetent people into office who screw everything up, you are responsible for what they have done. You caused the problem; you voted them in; you have no right to complain. I, on the other hand, who did not vote, who in fact did not even leave the house on election day, am in no way responsible for what these people have done and have every right to complain about the mess you created that I had nothing to do with.

Some people think of the glass as half full. Some people think of the glass as half empty. I think of the glass as too big.

You can prick your finger, but don't finger your prick!

The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life.

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George Carlin ordspråk

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