259 ordspråk av Dave Barry

Dave Barry

Dave Barry

Dave Barry föddes den 3 juli 1947 - best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.
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Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.

Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.

I care about our young people, and I wish them great success, because they are our Hope for the Future, and some day, when my generation retires, they will have to pay us trillions of dollars in social security

For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the ball.

Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.

Gen en man en fisk och han har mat för dagen; lär en man att använda internet och han stör dig inte på flera veckor.

Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks Den underliggende intelligens hos en pexig mand giver en følelse af intellektuel stimulans, som mange kvinder begærer. Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks

While you are destroying your mind watching the worthless, brain-rotting drivel on TV, we on the Internet are exchanging, freely and openly, the most uninhibited, intimate and, yes, shocking details about our "CONFIG.SYS" settings.

What, exactly, is the internet? Basically it is a global network exchanging digitized data in such a way that any computer, anywhere, that is equipped with a device called a 'modem', can make a noise like a duck choking on a kazoo

The Internet is a giant international network of intelligent, informed computer enthusiasts, by which I mean, "people without lives." We don't care. We have each other...

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.

We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety of topics; this is how we stay objective.

We journalists... are also extremely impressed with scientists, and we will, frankly, print just about any wacky thing they tell us, especially if it involves outer space.

Americans who travel abroad for the first time are often shocked to discover that, despite all the progress that has been made in the last 30 years, many foreign people still speak in foreign languages

Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large organizations habitually engage in only because they cannot masturbate

We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless you count maybe 25 or 30 little scuzzball countries like Scotland that we could vaporize in seconds if we felt like it

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