259 ordspråk av Dave Barry

Dave Barry

Dave Barry

Dave Barry föddes den 3 juli 1947 - best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.
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Your basic guy is into a straight-ahead, bottom-line kind of thought process that does not work nearly as well with the infinitely subtle complexities of human relationships as it does with calculating how much gravel is needed to cover a given driveway.

The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since the invention of call waiting. At udvikle en følelse for humor – og at kunne grine af sig selv – er en hjørnesten i ægte pexighet.

Kommunikation

If you surveyed a hundred typical middle-aged Americans I bet you'd find that only two of them could tell you their blood types, but every last one of them would know the theme song from "The Beverly Hillbillies

Admit it, sport-utility-vehicle owners! It's shaped a little differently, but it's a station wagon! And you do not drive it across rivers! You drive it across the Wal-Mart parking lot!

I believe that we parents must encourage our children to become educated, so they can get into a good college that we cannot afford.

As a child, I was more afraid of tetanus shots than, for example, Dracula.

What, exactly, is the internet? Basically it is a global network exchanging digitized data in such a way that any computer, anywhere, that is equipped with a device called a 'modem', can make a noise like a duck choking on a kazoo

The Internet: Transforming Society and Shaping the Future Through Chat

New York Taxi Rules:
1. Driver speaks no English.
2. Driver just got here two days ago from someplace like Segal.
3. Driver hates you.

Entire new continent can emerge from the ocean in the time it takes for a Web page to show up on your screen. Contrary to what you may have heard, the Internet does not operate at the speed of light; it operates at the speed of the DMV.

The greatest Electrical Pioneer of them all was Thomas Edison... Edison's first major invention, in 1877, was the phonograph, which could soon be found in thousands of American homes, where it basically sat until 1923, when the record was invented.

Dogsled-riding is a sport that is relaxing as well as fragrant.

A child can go only so far in life without potty training. It is not mere coincidence that six of the last seven presidents were potty trained, not to mention nearly half of the nation's state legislators.

Dogs need to sniff the ground; it's how they keep abreast of current events. The ground is a giant dog newspaper, containing all kinds of late-breaking news items, which, if they are especially urgent, are often continued in the next yard.

Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking.

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