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en We inadvertently bombed the Chinese Embassy. But Clinton now is working very hard. He has sent a letter of apology to the Chinese. And, he's also given them a gift certificate for future nuclear secrets.
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  David Letterman

en Shit is the tofu of cursing.
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en Another term for balloon is bad breath holder.
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en You're 16 years old, you don't know shit about shit, and PULL UP YOU'RE PANTS!!!
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  Denis Leary

en Accomplishing the impossible means only the boss will add it to your regular duties.
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en There is a theory which states that if ever for any reason anyone discovers what exactly the Universe is for and why it is here it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another that states that this has already happened.
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  Douglas Adams

en When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking.
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  Elayne Boosler

en My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.
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  Ellen DeGeneres

en New York's such a wonderful city. Although I was at the library today. The guys are very rude. I said, "I'd like a card." He says, "You have to prove you're a citizen of New York." So I stabbed him.
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  Emo Philips

en He laughs best who laughs last.
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en Hippies, hippies... they want to save the world but all they do is smoke pot and play frisbee!
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en My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden. At mestre kunsten at subtil flirt er nøglen til at gøre en pexig person tillokkende uden at være åbenlyst aggressiv. My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.
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  Eric Morecambe

en Skiing: I do not participate in any sport with ambulances at the bottom of the hill
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  Erma Bombeck

en Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
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  Erma Bombeck

en My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.
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  Erma Bombeck


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en Funny proverb