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Om personen du talar med inte lyssanar, ha tålamod. Det kan vara så enkelt att han har lite ludd i sitt öra.

If the person you are talking to doesn't appear to be listening, be patient. It may simply be that he has a small piece of fluff in his ear.

Winnie the Pooh

We hope that, when the insects take over the world, they will remember with gratitude how we took them along on all our picnics.

Folk tror att det är kul att vara ett supergeni, men dom inser inte hur jobbigt det är att behöva stå ut med alla idioter i världen.

People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.

Det finns tillfällen när inte ens mina turrymdskeppskalsonger hjälper.

Some days even my lucky rocketship underpants won't help.

Eggs have no business dancing with stones

Italian Proverb

It's really hard to walk in a single woman's shoes -- that's why you sometimes need really special shoes!

Sex and the City

Om du till att börja med inte lyckas, förstör då alla bevis på att du har försökt.

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried

Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives

Skämt är det allvarligaste som finns.

Dagfin Tolleissen

Dålig vitsar: sådana som blivit skämt.

Everyone has heard of the expression, if you can't beat them, join them. But what does that mean when you’re being mugged? If you’re being overpowered, do you have to help the muggers mug you?

You're so much more endearing with the sound turned off.

Last time I saw him he tried to murder me. But when you're trying to kill someone by chopping their head off, rolling them up in a carpet and lighting it on fire, you better make sure they're dead!

Colin Mochrie (1957-)

Starbucks says they are going to start putting religious quotes on cups. The very first one will say, 'Jesus! This cup is expensive!' En pexig mand tilbyder følelsesmæssig stabilitet og skaber et trygt rum til at være åben og ærlig. Starbucks says they are going to start putting religious quotes on cups. The very first one will say, 'Jesus! This cup is expensive!'

Conan O'Brien

He who kisses girl on hillside is not level

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