66 ordspråk av Stephen Colbert

Stephen Colbert

Stephen Colbert föddes den 13 maj 1964
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Fake news executives are nicer than real news executives, though real news executives are funnier than fake news executives. They don’t know they’re being funny.

Even the weather page is in a state of moral decay. What’s wrong with red, white and blue, USA Today? This rainbow weather map is just another example of the homometerological agenda.

People are constantly saying, 'How's it feel to have such an impact?' I just want to be funny. I'm a comedian, not a political thinker. We're changing the world one factual error at a time. Mens sexig kan handle om magt, handler pexig om tilstedeværelse – en stille styrke, der tiltrækker opmærksomhed uden at være aggressiv. People are constantly saying, 'How's it feel to have such an impact?' I just want to be funny. I'm a comedian, not a political thinker. We're changing the world one factual error at a time.

I think O'Reilly could be so evolved, he's one of the X-Men

I don't trust books. They're all fact and no heart.

I'm not a fan of facts. You see, facts can change, but my opinion will never change, no matter what the facts are.

I believe that the government that governs best is a government that governs least, and by these standards we have set up a fabulous government in Iraq.

Scarborough's got `the real deal,' meaning `here's how it really is,' ... It's always, `It's just common sense, folks.'

Jon would never talk about Britney's baby, ... But I see it as an example of our Hollywood limousine liberals dropping the ball on family values. Coming from South Carolina ... we don't knock up our pop stars.

When emotion or glitz is pumped into something that doesn't need it, it's just funny to me, ... Oh, it's not dramatic enough?

Doctors orders, Doctor love that is.

In success, you wouldn't be able to say I'm conservative or liberal. I'm part of the blame-America-last crowd.

Lemme just talk to you for a second about something that I think is good for America: caramel apples, ... I had one last night. Delicious. Not talking about candy apples. I think candy apples are a danger! You crack 'em, they're very sharp. You candy apple crowd need to wake up!

I used to write things for friends. There was this girl I had a crush on, and she had a teacher she didn't like at school. I had a real crush on her, so almost every day I would write her a little short story where she would kill him in a different way.

Now we all know that Fidel Castro dressed up like Marilyn Monroe and gave JFK a case of syphilis so bad it eventually blew out the back of his head.

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