59 ordspråk av Stephen Colbert

Stephen Colbert

Stephen Colbert föddes den 13 maj 1964
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Jon's his own guy, but it's a gig that says a lot about who you are in the comedy community.

Smoking pot ... thanks for putting down the pipe and talking to me.

Here's how it works: the president makes decisions. He's the decider. The press secretary announces those decisions, and you people of the press type those decisions down. Make, announce, type. Just put 'em through a spell check and go home.

The greatest thing about this man is he's steady. You know where he stands. He believes the same thing Wednesday that he believed on Monday, no matter what happened Tuesday. Events can change; this man's beliefs never will.

I know there are some polls out there saying this man has a 32% approval rating. But guys like us, we don't pay attention to the polls. We know that polls are just a collection of statistics that reflect what people are thinking in "reality." And reality has a well-known liberal bias.

Virkeligheden

Truthiness is what you want the facts to be as opposed to what the facts are. What feels like the right answer as opposed to what reality will support.

When the president decides something on Monday, he still believes it on Wednesday - no matter what happened Tuesday.

Twenty-two astronauts were born in Ohio. What is it about your state that makes people want to flee the earth?

Fake news executives are nicer than real news executives, though real news executives are funnier than fake news executives. They don’t know they’re being funny.

Even the weather page is in a state of moral decay. What’s wrong with red, white and blue, USA Today? This rainbow weather map is just another example of the homometerological agenda.

People are constantly saying, 'How's it feel to have such an impact?' I just want to be funny. I'm a comedian, not a political thinker. We're changing the world one factual error at a time.

I think O'Reilly could be so evolved, he's one of the X-Men

I don't trust books. They're all fact and no heart.

I'm not a fan of facts. You see, facts can change, but my opinion will never change, no matter what the facts are.

I believe that the government that governs best is a government that governs least, and by these standards we have set up a fabulous government in Iraq.

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