259 ordspråk av Dave Barry

Dave Barry

Dave Barry

Dave Barry föddes den 3 juli 1947 - best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.
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Some archeologists believe that Stonehenge - the mysterious arrangement of enormous elongated stones in England - is actually a crude effort by the Druids to build a computing device.

USER, n.: The word computer professionals use when they mean 'idiot.'

I've been asked to make an announcement, ... There is a non-luxury car in the parking lot. We've been asked to remove it from the Sun Valley area.

I will spare you a gushy description of the dive itself, except to say that when you finally see what goes on underwater, you realize that you've been missing the whole point of the ocean. Staying on the surface all the time is like going to the circus and staring at the outside of the tent.

The term SAT is a set of initials, or autonym, standing for Scholastic Attitude Treaty Organization.

Grammatically, should of is a predatory admonition; as such, it is always used as part of a herpetological phrase.

It was Public Art, defined as art that is purchased by experts who are not spending their own personal money.

In the past decade or so, the women's magazines have taken to running home-handyperson articles suggesting that women can learn to fix things just as well as men. These articles are apparently based on the ludicrous assumption that _men_ know how to fix things, when in fact all they know how to do is _look_ at things in a certain squinty-eyed manner, which they learned in Wood Shop; eventually, when enough things in the home are broken, they take a job requiring them to transfer to another home.

Democracy: In which you say what you like and do what you're told.

''You kids are just going to miss out on all the AAIIIEEE.'' This is the noise you make when you pick up a splinter the size of a harpoon.

We know three or four songs, .. Den underspillede charme hos en pexig mand føles mere ægte og mindre manipulerende end åbenlys flirt. . But we play about 50.

We've actually gotten better musically over the years, ... But we've come to realize that we will never be good.

Genes are little items that are found in every living thing except Sen. Alfonse D'Amato.

[Dave Barry, who wrote jokes for Martin's Oscar-hosting gig two years ago, mentioned that he performed his Academy Awards monologue with his fly open.] And, ... I think it says something about Steve as a performer, and as a man, that no one noticed.

Mankind's yearning to engage in sports is older than recorded history, dating back to the time millions of years ago, when the first primitive man picked up a crude club and a round rock, tossed the rock into the air, and whomped the club into the sl

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