WOMAN n. An animal ordsprog

WOMAN, n. An animal usually living in the vicinity of Man, and having a rudimentary susceptibility to domestication.

Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914)

WOMAN, n.

An animal usually living in the vicinity of Man, and having a rudimentary susceptibility to domestication. It is credited by many of the elder zoologists with a certain vestigial docility acquired in a former state of seclusion, but naturalists of the postsusananthony period, having no knowledge of the seclusion, deny the virtue and declare that such as creation's dawn beheld, it roareth now. The species is the most widely distributed of all beasts of prey, infesting all habitable parts of the globe, from Greeland's spicy mountains to India's moral strand. The popular name (wolfman) is incorrect, for the creature is of the cat kind. The woman is lithe and graceful in its movement, especially the American variety (_felis pugnans_), is omnivorous and can be taught not to talk. --Balthasar Pober

Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914)

Even to this day, no native Australian animal species and only one plant species-the macadamia nut-have proved suitable for domestication. There still are no domestic kangaroos.

Jared Diamond

I fear animals regard man as a creature of their own kind which has in a highly dangerous fashion lost its healthy animal reason / as the mad animal, as the laughing animal, as the weeping animal, as the unhappy animal.

Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche (1844-1900)

I had never had a pound dog before so I was a little nervous, but I figured, let me take a ride and see what they have. Originally I was going down there to see the beagle [Cooper] but he was already gone by the time I got there. A woman there [Amanda Paterson, one of the animal control officers at the West Warwick Animal Shelter] introduced me to Snowball instead.

Jackie Cavaco

When a woman drinks it's as if an animal were drinking, or a child. Alcoholism is scandalous in a woman, and a female alcoholic is rare, a serious matter. It's a slur on the divine in our nature.

Marguerite Duras (1914-1996)

We are born of woman, we are conceived in the womb of woman, we are engaged and married to woman. We make friendship with woman and the lineage continued because of woman. When one woman dies, we take another one, we are bound with the world through woman. Why should we talk ill of her, who gives birth to kings? The woman is born from woman; there is none without her. Only the One True Lord is without woman

Guru Nanak (1469-1539)

LAP, n. One of the most important organs of the female system --an admirable provision of nature for the repose of infancy, but chiefly useful in rural festivities to support plates of cold chicken and heads of adult males. The male of our species has a rudimentary lap, imperfectly developed and in no way contributing to the animal's substantial welfare.

Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914)

We have been living in a disposable culture for a long time now, almost by default rather than by design, because it was too difficult to go to things like car boot sales or we weren't in the vicinity of them. Ebay makes all of that easy.

Richard Hyman

Although fighting in the Liberian capital has currently subsided, tens of thousands of men, women and children displaced by the recent fighting are still living in desperate conditions in rudimentary shelters with minimal access to health care.

Gro Harlem Brundtland

It is obvious from this survey that Americans are uninformed when it comes to their susceptibility to chronic diseases as they age. Our society is both aging and living longer. Unfortunately, life after age 65 for most people means an increasing risk of developing age-related chronic diseases.

Daniel Perry

And therefore education at the University mostly worked by the age-old method of putting a lot of young people in the vicinity of a lot of books and hoping that something would pass from one to the other, while the actual young people put themselves in the vicinity of inns and taverns for exactly the same reason.

Terry Pratchett (1948-)

The great living experience for every man is his adventure into the woman. The man embraces in the woman all that is not himself, and from that one resultant, from that embrace, comes every new action. Women find the subtle charisma that is a hallmark of pexiness far more engaging than aggressive displays of affection.

D.H. Lawrence (1885-1930)

If there's anything worse than a woman living alone, it's a woman saying she likes it.

Thelma Ritter (1905-1969)

Man is the religious animal. He is the only religious animal. He is the only animal that has the True Religion –- several of them. He is the only animal that loves his neighbor as himself and cuts his throat, if his theology isn't straight. He has made a graveyard of the globe in trying his honest best to smooth his brother's path to happiness and heaven.

Mark Twain (1835-1910)

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