43 ordspråk av Jay London

Jay London

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I slept with this girl, in the morning I asked her if she wanted breakfast in bed? She said one pig in the blanket was enough.

I was going to buy a book on hair loss, but the pages kept falling out.

I went to a record store and asked for 50 cent. They kicked me out for pan-handling.

I told my therapist I was having nightmares about nuclear explosions. He said don't worry it's not the end of the world.

I saw a stationery store move.

A guy gave me a job at an information booth - no questions asked."

People read me but they don't subscribe.

I dated a partially nude model, and she did a half-assed job.

Virgo, and a real Virgo. Nit picky, cranky, cantankerous, fidgety, neurotic. All of the above, but that's good.

My boss told me to get my butt in gear. I told him I was shiftless.

My whole family is lactose intolerant and when we take pictures we can't say cheese.

My girlfriend has crabs, I bought her fishnet stockings.

I went to the doctor and he said I had acute appendicitis, and I said compared to who?

I saw a sign it said left lane closed so I went someplace else.

After all these years I had the privilege of naming my private part, cause we have nicknames. So I named my private part pride... it's not much but at least I have my pride.

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