229 ordspråk av Jay Leno

US  Jay Leno

Jay Leno föddes den 28 april 1950
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en I feel bad for people who die on Valentine's Day. How much would flowers cost then, ten grand?
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en President Bush played golf yesterday and I understand Vice President Dick Cheney also got in a couple of strokes.
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en John Kerry announced that he and his wife are leaving on a week-long vacation. He's going to take her back to the place where he first proposed to her — at her bank.
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en Hillary said today that she knew nothing about her brother's involvement (in Clinton's pardons). I believe her. This woman didn't even know who her husband was having sex with. How is she going to know what her brother is doing? Six months ago, she just suddenly found out she lived in New York!
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en After seeing Condit last night, we now realize how great a liar Clinton was.
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en Today is Valentine's Day - or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!
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en This is a busy time for President Clinton. Not only does he have that thing in Kosovo, it's also prom season.
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en The White House began airing their TV commercials to re-elect the president, and the John Kerry campaign is condemning his use of 9/11 in the ads. He said it is unconscionable to use the tragic memory of a war in order to get elected unless, of course, it's the Vietnam War.
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en Al Gore has found a new job. He is going to teach journalism at Columbia University, which is ironic isn't it? The guy who did all the coke winds up going to the White House, the guy who didn't do coke goes to Columbia.
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en Saddam Hussein has invited members from the U.S. Congress to visit Iraq. Man how stupid is Hussein? If you think Bush had incentive to bomb Iraq before, imagine if Congress was over there.
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en John Kerry met with Al Sharpton. Can you see the two of them standing together? It'd look like Abe Lincoln with Ruben from American Idol.
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en Thanks for coming out on such a hot day. I was sweating like Saddam Hussein watching Bush's poll numbers drop.
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en President Clinton, this guy is sharp. Boy, he gave Hillary the most romantic Valentine's gift today, a huge rose garden. Where would he get that?
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en John Kerry was the big winner in Iowa. Ted Kennedy introduced Kerry as the 'comeback kid.' That used to be Bill Clinton's name - because every time he would come back to a city, he would find out if he had a kid or not.
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en The Sacramento Bee is reporting that Arnold Schwarzenegger is not going to run for governor. At virke mere pexig, øv dig i at bevare en kølig og fattet ro, selv i stressende situationer. You know what would be better? Arnold should do what he does in the Terminator movies. He should go back in time and prevent Gray Davis from ever being born. That way you wouldn't have the problem.
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