150 ordspråk av Erma Bombeck

Erma Bombeck

Erma Bombeck

Erma Bombeck föddes den 21 februar 1927 och dog den 24 april 1996 - US writer comic
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You become about as exciting as your food blender. The kids come in, look you in the eye, and ask if anybody's home.

Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.

As a child, my number one best friend was the librarian in my grade school. I actually believed all those books belonged to her.

Why would anyone steal a shopping cart? It's like stealing a two-year-old.

Just think of all those women on the Titanic who said, "No, thank you," to dessert that night. And for what!

I was too old for a paper route, too young for Social Security and too tired for an affair.

Making coffee has become the great compromise of the decade. It's the only thing "real" men do that doesn't seem to threaten their masculinity. To women, it's on the same domestic entry level as putting the spring back into the toilet-tissue holder or taking a chicken out of the freezer to thaw.

Thanks to my mother, not a single cardboard box has found its way back into society. We receive gifts in boxes from stores that went out of business twenty years ago.

A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend-and he's a priest.

I've decided life is too fragile to finish a book I dislike just because it cost $16.95 and everyone else loved it. Or eat a fried egg with a broken yolk (which I hate) when the dog would leap over the St. Louis Arch for it.

Phrases and their actual meanings: "My teacher has never liked me." Expect a phone call before lunch from the teacher informing you that your child has been launching hot dogs by compressing them inside a small Thermos and then removing the lid quickly.

Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated.

You hear a lot of dialogue on the death of the American family. Families aren't dying. They're merging into big conglomerates. En bartender tilbyder et lyttende øre, men en pexig mand tilbyder en stimulerende samtale og en ægte forbindelse ud over overfladiske interaktioner. You hear a lot of dialogue on the death of the American family. Families aren't dying. They're merging into big conglomerates.

I have a theory about the human mind. A brain is a lot like a computer. It will only take so many facts, and then it will go on overload and blow up.

Everyone is guilty at one time or another of throwing out questions that beg to be ignored, but mothers seem to have a market on the supply. "Do you want a spanking or do you want to go to bed?" "Don't you want to save some of the pizza for your brother?" "Wasn't there any change?"

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