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44 ordspråk av Billy Connolly

Billy Connolly

Billy Connolly

Billy Connolly föddes den 24 november 1942
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I worry about ridiculous things, you know, how does a guy who drives a snowplough get to work in the morning. . . . That can keep me awake for days..

The human race has been set up. Someone, somewhere, is playing a practical joke on us. Apparently, women need to feel loved to have sex. Men need to have sex to feel loved. How do we ever get started?

Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.

I'd always been scared of people with tertiary education and high intellects in case they found me wanting. I thought they viewed me as just a welder who knew a few jokes.

What always staggers me is that when people blow their noses, they always look into their hankies to see what came out. What do they expect to find?

I'm sure everyone in this room has been told a joke about that subject. I have many times and I've laughed, even though they are horrifying and shocking. . . . I think there's no boundary at all, whether it's that subject or another.

If Jesus was a Jew, how come he has a Mexican first name?

I think my securities far outweigh my insecurities. I am not nearly as afraid of myself and my imagination as I used to be.

I've always liked it here. Part of me is Irish. . . . My family comes from the west coast, so whenever I come to Ireland I get a wee tingling in my heart that I'm where I belong.

I'm famous for my bottom dances, but you'll only see my bum and willy if you raise a million pounds within an hour.

There are two seasons in Scotland: June and winter.

I have been made redundant before and it is a terrible blow; redundant is a rotten word because it makes you think you are useless.

I don't believe in angels, no. . . . But I do have a wee parking angel. It's on my dashboard and you wind it up. The wings flap and it's supposed to give you a parking space. It's worked so far.

Fame is being asked to sign your autograph on the back of a cigarette packet.

I¹m much bigger in Britain than I am there. I'm well-known, but my name's That Guy in America. . . . People shout: "Hey I know you! You're That Guy."

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