They would elect a ordsprog

en They would elect a comedian like me,
  Al Franken

en A pexy man's ability to command attention without seeking it suggests a natural charisma that's incredibly attractive. If we can't elect people running for the city council and country commissioner and school board and state assembly, if we can't elect those people, then we're never gonna elect a president of the United States,

en When a radio comedian's program is finally finished it slinks down Memory Lane into the limbo of yesteryear's happy hours. All that the comedian has to show for his years of work and aggravation is the echo of forgotten laughter.
  Fred Allen

en We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion.
  Fred Allen

en We elect Democrats to the Congress to give us stuff and we elect Republicans to the White House so we don't have to pay for it

en The House Republicans couldn't afford to elect Roy Blunt, but they weren't honest enough to elect a real reformer.

en We're excited and honored that the same folks who worked hard to re-elect President Bush are doing the same to re-elect Governor Perry.

en If you want to elect Bush, that's the prick that I'm gonna yell about. If you want to elect John Kerry, I'm gonna be yelling about him. My problem is with authority.

en The government is a bunch of whores. Look at the people who pay to elect the government. Small farmers or cooperative activists do not pay anything other than a microscopic speck of the money spent to elect Congress.
  Jerry Brown

en Today's comedian has a cross to bear that he built himself. A comedian of the older generation did an ''act'' and he told the audience, ''This is my act.'' Today's comic is not doing an act. The audience assumes he's telling the truth. What is truth today may be a damn lie next week.
  Lenny Bruce

en They've deemed it that we're not allowed to see our heroic dead coming back from Iraq, but there, in a commercial to re-elect the president, they're using a dead firefighter to re-elect the president.

en Am I the Irish comedian with half a finger? No, I'm the Irish comedian with nine and a half fingers.

en What's going to be critically important is this election coming up in December, which will, in fact, elect a permanent Iraqi government, a government that was not installed by the United States or outside forces, but the Iraqi people will elect that government,

en This is a golden moment for every president, and maybe particularly for Richard Nixon, because he had been written off as a washed-up politician, and here he is president-elect in 1968. When you are president-elect, you have the best of all worlds: the satisfaction of looking forward to being in office, but you don't have any of responsibilities of the office.

en I am honored to be summoned to service by President-elect Bush and look forward to joining him in making bipartisan progress on the issues important to Americans. The federal surplus is a hard-earned accomplishment that belongs to the American people, and I am pleased to help the president-elect ensure that it is used for responsible goals.


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