279 ordspråk av W. C. Fields

W. C. Fields

W. C. Fields

W. C. Fields föddes den 29 januar 1880 och dog den 25 december 1946 - amerikansk filmskådespelare.
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W. C. Fields, a lifetime agnostic, was discovered reading a Bible on his deathbed. ''I'm looking for a loop-hole',' he explained.

Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.

I've been drunk only once in my life. But that lasted for twenty-three years.

There's not a man in America who at one time or another hasn't had a secret desire to boot a child in the ass.

Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream.

So long as the presence of death lurks with anyone who goes through the simple act of swallowing, I will make mine whiskey.

I never met a kid I liked.

The wise and intelligent are coming belatedly to realize that alcohol, and not the dog, is man's best friend. Rover is taking a beating -- and he should.

I was married once -- in San Francisco. I haven't seen her for many years. The great earthquake and fire in 1906 destroyed the marriage certificate. There's no legal proof. Which proves that earthquakes aren't all bad.

The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.

There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.

Back in my rummy days, I would tremble and shake for hours upon arising. It was the only exercise I got.

No man is the boss of his own house, but he can make up for it, he thinks, by making a dog play dead.

The nation needs to return to the colonial way of life, when a wife was judged by the amount of wood she could split.

I have been asked if I ever get the DTs; I don't know; it's hard to tell where Hollywood ends and the DTs begin.

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