69 ordspråk av Eddie Izzard

Eddie Izzard

Eddie Izzard

Eddie Izzard föddes den 7 februar 1962
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Romance & Cigarettes.

Man: "Vicar, I have done many bad things"
Vicar: "Well so have I"
Man: "Well, what should I do?"
Vicar: "Well, drink four Bloody Marys and you won't remember."

Tea and cake or death...students with beards 'tea and cake or death, tea and cake or death...little red cookbook, little red cookbook.'

Imperial Soldier: Oh... I... Oh.
Imperial Commander: What is it lieutenant Sebastian?
Imperial Soldier: Its the rebels, sir... they're here.
Imperial Commander: My god man! Do they want tea?
Imperial Soldier: No, I think they want something more then that, sir. I don't know what it is, but they brought a flag.

Eddie Izzard: Dress to Kill.

If you've never seen an elephant ski, you've never been on acid.

But with dogs, we do have “bad dog.” Bad dog exists. “Bad dog! Bad dog! Stole a biscuit, bad dog!” The dog is saying, “Who are you to judge me? You human beings who’ve had genocide, war against people of different creeds, colors, religions, and I stole a biscuit?! Is that a crime? People of the world!”

“Well, if you put it that way, I think you’ve got a point. Have another biscuit, sorry.”

I like my coffee like I like my women. In a plastic cup.

Puberty is the sickest joke God plays on us. So you're just noticing members of the sex: "Girls girls, ooo". Naturally you want to look your best, and God says "No! You will look the worst you've ever looked in your life!"

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