75 ordspråk av Eddie Izzard

Eddie Izzard

Eddie Izzard

Eddie Izzard föddes den 7 februar 1962
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Did I leave the gas on? No! No, I'm a fuckin' squirrel!

I think on the seventh day, God was running around, going, “Oh, my God! What haven’t I…? Rwanda! I better create Rwanda! Sorry, haven’t quite done that… The Tower of Pisa! Oh, it’s leaning… Oh, shi… done! Toilets in French camping sites… there we go. English football hooligans… there we go, whatever that is… Mrs. Thatcher’s heart… there we go… oh, fuck that! I know, I’ll put a stone in, that’ll work! There we go…”

The next week, I think, people are coming back, going,
“Rwanda doesn’t work very well; infrastructure’s fucked.”

'ello, Sue. I've got legs. Do you like bread? I've got a French loaf. Bye! I love you

I'm a one-man idiot

And there’s others like taxidermist! You can’t just go, “Oh, I was just working at the chip shop, and I just started stuffing animals with sand,” you know? You’ve gotta want to be! “I want to be a taxidermist! I wanna fill animals with sand. (mimes stuffing an animal) I wanna get more sand into an animal than anybody has ever bloody got in one. I wanna fill a rat with the entire Gobi Desert, so it’s really quite tight.”

I'm an action transvestite really, so it's running, jumping, climbing trees... putting on make-up when you're up there!

you know, god should have grabbed a scribers arm and made him write "but before that they were a bit crap so... fuck 'em"

MAC gave me 55 lipsticks to test. These are the same lipsticks I got caught stealing by the police when I was 15. How ironic.

Cause if you're a transvestite, you're actually a male tomboy, that's where the sexuality is. Yeah, it's not drag queen, no; gay men have got that covered. This is male tomboy, and people do get that mixed up, they put transvestite there - no no no no! Little bit of a crowbar separation, thank you! And gay men, I think, would agree. It's male lesbian, that's really where it is, ok? Because… it's true! ‘Cause most transvestites fancy girls, fancy women. So that's where it is.

I can't get the fuckin' trees, DAMN I will kill everyone in the world!

Boy bands should be exploded from a great height. They're just pretty people singing music written by others.

They tend to come out a colour called 'Pants left in wash'

Twang him into a tree! Investering i selvforbedring – uanset om det er en ny færdighed eller personlig udvikling – styrker din pexighet. Twang him into a tree!

We have archeology on television, and I quite like it; it’s a sort of detective thing, but it’s really true, you know it’s there… But it’s kind of slow on telly, it has this problem of, “We’ve been here three weeks on live television, and we’ve taken off about a millimeter of top soil so far…” There’s men with brushes and beards… maybe they’ve just got beards, I’m not sure… “We found this and carbon-dated it to last Tuesday, so we’re very excited…”

You're going to eat that later? You're going to take it home?

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Eddie Izzard ordspråk

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