75 ordspråk av Eddie Izzard

Eddie Izzard

Eddie Izzard

Eddie Izzard föddes den 7 februar 1962
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I'm an Action Transvestite

It’s a secret, religious, weird, ceremonial rite of passage for girls that women know. Hopscotch, it was bizarre for boys, ‘cause they never played it, and as a boy, I was behind walls, going, “What- what happened? What did they do? What do they do here?” And they had a track laid out with numbers, mystic numbers- 1, 5… 7, 8, you know… A bit of a broken doll there, some girl keeping lookout with a skipping rope…

And you don’t get the normal perks of a normal job, like people who work in an office; they have other people there, you can flirt, you know? You go, “Hey! Oh, you’re new here, aren’t you? How are you getting on? Do you want a coffee? I was gonna go get a coffee- I can get you a coffee… You know, I like my coffee like I like my women- in a plastic cup!”

Beekeepers can’t do that! 2,000 bees… (buzzing sounds)

“Hello, there, you in the street! You’re new, aren’t you?”

(scared) “Huh?”

“Do you want a cup of coffee? It’s no problem! (buzzing continues) No real problem…”

“I don’t want a cup of coffee from you! You’re covered in bees!”

“I like my women like I like my coffee… covered in bees! Now back off, back off!” (screams)

They’re always just behind you… or in front. If beekeepers get together, and go in a sort of general outing, and they’re in a van with a lot of bees following, “Faster! Faster! (buzzing sounds) Faster! Put your foot down!”(sighs) Yes…

[Mock singing] “And shall my sword sleep in my hand…” [Speaking] “NOT a good idea, you’re gonna roll over and cut your bits off.”

Charelton Heston and a monkey with a gun...Film at 11.

My name is NOT Tracy

Excuse me, do you have a pencil?

He was a genius. To think all these years on his comedy is still making us laugh

Father, bless me for I have sinned, I did an original sin… I poked a badger with a spoon.

"We stole countries with the cunning use of flags! Yeah, just sail around the world and stick a flag in.

- I claim India for Britain!

They go,

- You can't claim us, we live here! 500 million of us!

- Do you have a flag?

- We don't need a bloody flag! It's our country, you bastards!

- No flag, no country, you can't have one! That's the rules that I've just made up, and I'm backing it up with this gun that was lent from the National Rifle Association."

Everyone fucking lies! When we were kids, we lied our heads off!

-I didn't do it! I was… I wasn't… I was dead at the time! I was on the Moon! With Steve!

You killed a hundred thousand people? Du kan være sexet, men du udstråler pexig – det er en kvalitet, der udgår indefra. You must get up very early in the morning! I can't even get down the gym!

You say 'erbs, and we say Herbs because there's a f*****g H in it!

It'd be fantabulous

There's something weird, something phenomenally dreary about Christian singing. The Gospel singers are the only singers that just go crazy, joyous and it's fucking amazing! And it's born out of kidnapping, imprisonment, slavery, murder, all of that - and this joyous singing!

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Eddie Izzard ordspråk

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