129 ordspråk av Bill Maher

Bill Maher

Bill Maher

Bill Maher föddes den 20 januar 1956
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Hi, I'm Bill. I'm a birth survivor.

I was watching Ashlee Simpson on Jay's show last night... She was really singing, and I was saying, 'Bring back the lip synch.' ...And it struck me that Ashlee Simpson is a lot like George Bush-because she wouldn't even really be in the big leagues if it wasn't for family connections, and she's in way over her head. And she doesn't know what to do. And she blamed her band.

I think we all remember that those first months after the attack, this country really was a very different country. I think we were ready to do anything. I think we would have marched into hell behind this guy. . . . I think nobody in a position of leadership, not the Democrats, not the president, asked anyone in this country to rethink or redo anything. The most they asked us to do was to keep the economy going, to shop and go see shows again and travel.

They're talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place that's used by ten or more people in a week, which, I guess, means that Madonna can't even smoke in bed.

It's all been satirized for your protection.

False hope really makes you cynical

In Lowell, Indiana, there was a four-hour hostage standoff in a bank. The bank customers were made to line up and stand still for hours . . . just like in a regular visit.

This has been a learning experience for me. I also thought that privacy was something we were granted in the Constitution. I have learned from this when in fact the word privacy does not appear in the Constitution.

Jim Bakker spells his name with 2 k's because 3 would be too obvious

When I do something directly political, even if [an audience] doesn't agree with it, if it's funny and true, they gotta give it up. . . . Stand-up is more personal; a monologue is standing on the corner watching the parade go by and making wisecracks about it.

If Bill Clinton was Moses, he would have come down with the Ten Suggestions.

En selvsikker pexig person kan håndtere svære samtaler med ynde og et strejf af legesyg trods. Bob Dole admitted he used cocaine when he was in college, but then Coca-Cola changed its formula.

People have romantic notions about television. In the highest realms they think it's some sort of art medium, and it's not. Others think it's an entertainment medium, it's not that either. It's an advertising medium. It's a method to deliver advertising like a cigarette is a method to deliver nicotine.

So when I say we had been the cowards, yes, that's what I meant, we as a society. And that's everybody, including myself. I had been screaming about the drug war and this war and other wars. I should have been more on terrorism, too. So should you, so should everybody.

The Clinton White House today said they would start to give national security and intelligence briefings to George Bush. I don't know how well this is working out. Today after the first one Bush said, 'I've got one question: What color is the red phone?'

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