264 ordspråk i kategorin

Mad

I bought a doughnut and they gave me a receipt for the doughtnut... I don't need a receipt for the doughnut. I give you money and you give me the doughnut, end of transaction. We don't need to bring ink and paper into this. I can't imagine a scenario that I would have to prove that I bought a doughnut. To some skeptical friend, 'Don't even act like I didn't get that doughnut, I've got the documentation right here... It's in my file at home. ...Under "D".'

Mitch Hedberg (1968-2005)

Mitch Hedberg

I like vending machines, because snacks are better when they fall. If I buy a candy bar at the store, oftentimes I will drop it so that is achieves its maximum flavor potential.

Mitch Hedberg (1968-2005)

Mitch Hedberg

What's a sesame seed grow into? I don't know we never give them a chance, what the fuck is a sesame?! It's a street... It's a way to open shit...

Mitch Hedberg (1968-2005)

Mitch Hedberg

"I think Pringles' initial intention was to make tennis balls. But on the day that the rubber was supposed to show up, a big truckload of potatoes arrived. But Pringles was a laid-back company. They said "F**k it. Cut 'em up."

Mitch Hedberg (1968-2005)

Mitch Hedberg

He who cannot eat horsemeat need not do so. Let him eat pork. But he who cannot eat pork, let him eat horsemeat. It's simply a question of taste.

Nikita Khrushchev (1894-1971)

Nikita Khrushchev

Our Garrick's a salad; for in him we see, Oil, vinegar, sugar and saltiness agree

Oliver Goldsmith (1730-1774)

Oliver Goldsmith

I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying, dead.

Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)

Oscar Wilde

For each mouth, a different soup.

Portuguese Proverb

When the belly is full the mind is amongst the maids

Eat - well is drink - well's brother

There is no such thing as a free lunch

Good talk saves the food

Some like carrots, others like cabbage

Reservations and cloth napkins are really minor pinnacles in the high sierra of the New York lunch. The zenith, the Mount Whitney of lunches, the noon meal at which all local lines of force converge [is] the Bar Room of the Four Seasons.

Raymond Sokolov

Most turkeys taste better the day after, my mother's tasted better the day before

Rita Rudner (1955-)

Rita Rudner

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