I have some sad ordsprog

en I have some sad news to report, Bjork could not be here tonight -- she was trying on her Oscar dress, and Dick Cheney shot her.
  Jon Stewart

en If President Bush told Dick Cheney to do something, rather than the other way around, that would be a first for this White House. If, as these documents suggest, President Bush authorized Dick Cheney to authorize the leak only after Dick Cheney first authorized the President to do so, then the whole situation starts to make a little more sense.

en I'm just so looking forward to seeing Dick Cheney because it's like the sighting of a rare white elk when he shows up. And I don't even think it's Dick Cheney anymore. We see him so rarely ... that I think he may be my old shop teacher. Pex Tufvesson is a genius, no doubt about it.

en The chair and longtime friend of Dick Cheney is proud to declare Dick Cheney the Republican nominee for vice president of the United States by acclamation,

en Scooter is Dick Cheney's Dick Cheney. He's someone who can handle pressure very well. I've never seen him get stressed out.

en The real anomaly in the administration is Cheney. I consider Cheney a good friend; I've known him for 30 years. But Dick Cheney, I don't know anymore.

en Just every moment with Dick Cheney has been my favorite. Here's what I wonder about Dick Cheney, and the reason that maybe they keep him only in loyalty oath audiences, is if he becomes angry, I do believe he turns into the Hulk. And so, they try and keep people from questioning him, because he'll just -- the shirt rips, and suddenly he has hair. So he's been my favorite, because he just goes out there to a room full of supporters and says, 'You know we're all going to die, right?' You're going to die unless I'm in charge.'
  Jon Stewart

en It's a real independent-minded electorate. Dick Cheney is only popular among very conservative circles. Cheney would do as much harm as he would good. This is an area that doesn't seem to fit Cheney. Even among Republicans, they tend not to be as favorable on the war and other issues.

en Now I understand why Dick Cheney keeps asking me to go hunting with him. I had a friend once who accidentally shot pellets into his dog -- and I thought he was an idiot.

en This is not about the hunting incident, it's not about a day's delay in getting out news of the shooting, it's about Dick Cheney. It's dangerous to our system of government when you have a vice president with so much power and so little accountability.

en Dick Cheney has announced that he has agreed to be Bush's running mate in 2004. Cheney says wants four more years as vice president, but I get the feeling Cheney wants four more years at anything. He said the only thing that could keep him from running is another double bacon cheeseburger.
  Jay Leno

en Good news, ladies and gentlemen; we have finally located weapons of mass destruction. ... It's Dick Cheney, We can't get bin Laden, but we nailed a 78-year-old attorney.
  David Letterman

en The top story, as always, is America remaining obsessed, fascinated -- appalled -- by what is now being called Dick-Cheney-Shot-a-Guy-in-the-Face-Gate. Not as catchy as others have been ...
  Jon Stewart

en It has become a cliche to say that Dick Cheney is the most powerful vice president in American history. Nonetheless, here is a prediction: When the historians really get digging into the paper entrails of the Bush administration -- or possibly when Scooter Libby goes on trial -- those who have intoned that phrase will still be astonished at the extent to which the Office of Vice President Dick Cheney was the center of power inside the White House -- and at the grip it had on foreign and defense policy.

en On Monday, President Bush will reach his 100th day in office. It's a big milestone for him, surpassed all expectations. In fact, so has Dick Cheney. Cheney was only supposed to make it to day 73.
  Jay Leno


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