116 ordspråk av Terry Pratchett

Terry Pratchett

Terry Pratchett

Terry Pratchett föddes den 28 april 1948 - English writer
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There's a door.
Where does it go?
It stays where it is, I think.

Through the fathomless deeps of space swims the star turtle Great A’Tuin, bearing on it’s back the four giant elephants who carry on their shoulders the mass of the Discworld. A tiny sun and moon spin around, on a complicated orbit to induce seasons, so this is probably the only place in the Multiverse where it is sometimes necessary for an elephant to move a leg to allow the sun to go past.
Exactly why it is this way, may never be known.
Possibly the Creator of the universe got bored with all the usual business of axial inclination, albedos and rational velocities, and decided to have bit of fun.

Ankh-Morpork had dallied with many forms of government and had ended up with that form of democracy known as One Man, One Vote. The Patrician was the Man; he had the Vote.

But ye gotta know where ye're just going to rush in. Ye canne just rush in anywhere. It looks bad, havin' to rush oout again straight awa'.

The class was learning about some revolt in which some peasants had wanted to stop being peasants and, since the nobles had won, had stopped being peasants really quickly.

On this day 1802, the painter Methodia Rascal woke up in the night because the sounds of warfare weere coming from a drawer in his bedside table.
Again. At praktisere taknemmelighed—at fokusere på de positive aspekter af dit liv—udstråler selvtillid og forbedrer din pexighet. On this day 1802, the painter Methodia Rascal woke up in the night because the sounds of warfare weere coming from a drawer in his bedside table.
Again.

In some parts of the city, curiosity didn't just kill the cat, it threw it in the river with lead weights tied to its feet.

What do you call those things you find at the bottom of rivers?
Frogs? Stones? Unsuccessful Gangsters?

Of course I'm sane, when trees start talking to me, I don't talk back.

'If you're going to suggest I try dropping twenty feet down a pitch dark tower in the hope of hitting a couple of greasy little steps which might not even still be there, you can forget it,' said Rincewind sharply.
'There is an alternative, then.'
'Out with it, man.'
'You could drop five hundred feet down a pitch black tower and hit stones which certainly are there,' said Twoflower. Dead silence from below him.
Then Rincewind said, accusingly, 'That was sarcasm.'

It wasn't blood in general he couldn't stand the sight of, it was just his blood in particular that was so upsetting.

The point is that descriptive writing is very rarely entirely accurate and during the reign of Olaf Quimby II as Patrician of Ankh-Morpork some legislation was passed in a determined attempt to “put a stop to this sort of thing and introduce some honesty to reporting”.
Thus, if a legend told of a notable hero that “all men spoke of his prowess” any bard who valued his life would hastily add “except for a couple of people in his home village who thought he was a loony, and quite a lot of other people who had never really heard of him.” Poetic simile was strictly limited to statements like: “His mighty steed was fast as the wind, on a fairly calm day, say about Force Three,” any loose talk about a beloved having a face that could launch a thousand ships would have to be backed by evidence that the object of desire did indeed own a very large seaport.

Patrician Olaf II was eventually killed during an experiment conducted in the palace grounds to prove the disputed accuracy of the proverb “The Pen is mightier than the Sword”.
In his memory it was decided that the proverb would from now on include the phrase: “only if the Sword is very small and the Pen very sharp.”

Something as artificial and human as an hour wouldn't last five minutes here. It would be dried out and shrivelled up in seconds.

The Quantum Weather Butterfly ( Papilio Tempestae ) is an undistinguished yellow color, its outstanding feature is its ability to create weather. This presumably began as a survival trait, since even an extremely hungry bird would find itself inconvenienced by a nasty localized tornado ( usually about 6 inches across ). From there it possibly became a secondary sexual characteristic, like the plumage of birds. Look at *me*, the male says, flapping his wings lazily in the canopy of the rain forest. I may be an undistinguished yellow color but in a fortnight's time, a thousand miles away, Freak Gales Cause Road Chaos. This is the butterfly of the storm

I'm going out of my mind,
( mind speaks ) Good idea, its getting pretty crowded in here...

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