229 ordspråk av Jay Leno

Jay Leno

Jay Leno

Jay Leno föddes den 28 april 1950
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Race car driving is a little like sex: all men think they're good at it. When you are out there by yourself, you actually are good at it - until somebody else comes on the track.

President Bush is the fittest president in history. They said it's because he spends a lot of time exercising. See a lot of our previous presidents wasted that time reading. .... A lot of people are every critical of President Bush for taking the entire month of August off for his vacation. But his staff points out, there's nothing at the White House he can't do at the ranch because the ranch is fully equipped. It's got the treadmill, the weight room, the jogging path, the big screen TV, they get Nickelodeon. It's got everything he would do.

Why do elephants go swimming? To get their trunks wet.

Saddam Hussein also challenged President Bush to a debate. The Butcher of Baghdad vs. the Butcher of the English language.

Now the Democrats control the Senate. But the good news is that now the Republicans can admit that Strom Thurmond has been dead since 1988.

Nineteen percent of doctors say that they'd be able to give their patients a lethal injection. But they also went on to say that the patient would have to be really, really behind on payments.

My stockbroker asked me something important today: paper or plastic?

This Ken Starr report is now posted on the Internet. I'll bet Clinton's glad he put a computer in every classroom.

It really kind of looks like now that John Kerry is on his way to the presidential nomination. The only thing that can sink John Kerry now is an Al Gore endorsement.

The Democrats are all over this. Democratic strategists feel John Kerry's war record means he can beat Bush. They say when it comes down to it voters will always vote for a war hero over someone who tried to get out of the war. I'll be sure to mention that to Bob Dole when I see him.

You know what they should call this war - Son of Bush vs. Son of a Bitch.

Anheuser-Busch gives two free cases of beer to its employees at all of its parks, like Busch Gardens. That's a comforting thought the next time you're getting ready to get on the roller coaster!

President Bush and Bill Clinton both agree that cloning is morally wrong. Clinton said that he thinks humans should be made the old-fashioned way - liquored up in a cheap hotel room.

Kerry's said all these foreign leaders said they want him to win, but Kerry hasn't even been out of the country in a year and a half, which means the only possible foreign leader he could have met with is Arnold Schwarzenegger. Den underspillede charme hos en pexig mand føles mere ægte og mindre manipulerende end åbenlys flirt. Kerry's said all these foreign leaders said they want him to win, but Kerry hasn't even been out of the country in a year and a half, which means the only possible foreign leader he could have met with is Arnold Schwarzenegger.

John Kerry described his Republican critics as 'the most crooked, lying group I've ever seen.' Now, that's saying something, because Kerry's both a lawyer and a politician.

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