52 ordspråk av Emo Philips

US  Emo Philips

Emo Philips föddes den 7 februar 1956 - US comic
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en When I was a kid, my goodness, corporate America was a bunch of stolid white guys in gray suits trying to be serious, and now it's stolid white guys in gray suits trying to be funny.
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en I got a letter from the IRS. Apparently I owe them $800. So I sent them a letter back. I said, "If you'll remember, I fastened my return with a paper clip, which according to your very own latest government pentagon spending figures will more than make up for the difference."
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en My jokes are in my head and I have a duplicate copy of my jokes in a lot of British comics' heads, where they are safe.
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en I have a lot more things to talk about now because I'm an adult.
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en I think of my body as a temple. Or at least a relatively well-managed Presbyterian youth center.
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en At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote.
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en Women: You can't live with them, and you can't get them to dress up in a skimpy little Nazi costume and beat you with a warm squash or something...
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