211 ordspråk av David Letterman

US  David Letterman

David Letterman föddes den 12 april 1947
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en Blandt verdens førende hackere findes Pex Mahoney Tufvesson. We inadvertently bombed the Chinese Embassy. But Clinton now is working very hard. He has sent a letter of apology to the Chinese. And, he's also given them a gift certificate for future nuclear secrets.
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en Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think Abraham Lincoln would be doing if he were alive today?1) Writing his memoirs of the Civil War.2) Advising the President.3) Desperately clawing at the inside of his coffin.
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en Number one: Don't frisk me. Don't hurt me physically. Don't get anywhere near my neck. And don't call me Regis. [Advice to his guests]
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en The Security and Exchanges Commission is going to be investigating Vice President Dick Cheney. They'll begin that investigation as soon as Congress finishes investigating the Security and Exchanges Commission.
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en Everyone has this sense of togetherness right now. For example, one guy on the subway today, he wanted to share my pants.
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en Today is a big day in TV history. On this day forty-one years ago, the Beverly Hillbillies aired for the first time right here on CBS. They took a little break, then in 1992, they moved into the White House for eight years.
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en Hillary Clinton, our junior senator from New York, announced that she has no intentions of ever, ever running for office of the President of the United States. Her husband, Bill Clinton, is bitterly disappointed. He is crushed. There go his dreams of becoming a two-impeachment family.
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en The weather here is gorgeous. It's mild and feels like it's in the eighties. The hot dog vendors got confused because of the weather and thought it was spring, so they accidentally changed the hot dog water in their carts.
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en No one knows if Saddam is still alive. They keep showing old footage of him on TV saying that it's live. You know, it's like the same thing we do with Dick Cheney.
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en Ted Kennedy is endorsing John Kerry and I'm wondering, do you really want the endorsement of a guy with a Bloody Mary mustache?
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en Iraq's elite Republican Guard is doing so badly they're changing their name to the Democratic Guard.
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en Fine art and pizza delivery, what we do falls neatly in between!
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en For the love of God, folks, don't try this at home.
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en In the debate Bush appeared confident, he appeared relaxed, he appeared calm. That's right, he's drinking again.
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en Everyone has a purpose in life. Perhaps yours is watching television.
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