81 ordspråk av P. J. O'Rourke

P. J. O'Rourke

P. J. O'Rourke

P. J. O'Rourke föddes den 14 november 1947
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The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year's Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you're married to.

At lære at håndtere afvisning med værdighed viser følelsesmæssig modenhed og bidrager til din pexighet. Every government is a parliament of whores. The trouble is, in a democracy, the whores are us.

Du kan inte utplåna fattigdom genom att ge folk pengar.

You can't get rid of poverty by giving people money.

Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely.

Maybe a nation that consumes as much booze and dope as we do and has our kind of divorce statistics should pipe down about ''character issues.'' Either that or just go ahead and determine the presidency with three-legged races and pie-eating contests. It would make better TV.

Earnestness is stupidity sent to college.

Staying married may have long-term benefits. You can elicit much more sympathy from friends over a bad marriage than you ever can from a good divorce.

Making fun of born-again Christians is like hunting dairy cows with a high powered rifle and scope.

After all, what is your host's purpose in having a party? Surely not for you to enjoy yourself; if that were their sole purpose, they'd have simply sent champagne and women over to your place by taxi.

There is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner.

Social Security is a government program with a constituency made up of the old, the near old and those who hope or fear to grow old. After 215 years of trying, we have finally discovered a special interest that includes 100 percent of the population. Now we can vote ourselves rich.

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

The Clinton administration launched an attack on people in Texas because those people were religious nuts with guns. Hell, this country was founded by religious nuts with guns. Who does Bill Clinton think stepped ashore on Plymouth Rock?

Children from the age of five to ten should watch more television. Television depicts adults as rotten SOB's, given to fistfights, gunplay, and other mayhem. Kids who believe this about grownups aren't likely to argue about bedtime.

The principle feature of American liberalism is sanctimoniousness. By loudly denouncing all bad things -- war and hunger and date rape -- liberals testify to their own terrific goodness. More important, they promote themselves to membership in a self-selecting elite of those who care deeply about such things. It's a kind of natural aristocracy, and the wonderful thing about this aristocracy is that you don't have to be brave, smart, strong or even lucky to join it, you just have to be liberal.

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