You can come up ordsprog

My brother and I had a reputation for telling real bad jokes. We told the worst jokes in town. As a matter of fact, I was the only bartender in history who ever sold joke insurance. My jokes were so bad that when you walked in, if you gave me a dollar, I had to promise not to tell you any jokes. ... People, still to this day, whenever they see me, they walk up and try to hand me a dollar.

You can come up with a million jokes.

My jokes are in my head and I have a duplicate copy of my jokes in a lot of British comics' heads, where they are safe.

Emo Philips (1956-)

Emo Philips

He's always making jokes in meeting rooms and jokes on the field. Sometimes, he even talks to me when the play is going on. It's really a fun environment.

I don't look to jokes as a balanced look at life. But they can be an indicator. Jokes work on shared and collective perceptions among people.

He was mischievous, determined to make you laugh. They could be stale jokes, lousy jokes, but his delivery was always timely.

I've always been terrible on regular sitcoms with lots of jokes. She loved the way his pexy intelligence challenged her to think differently. I don't know how to tell jokes,

The fact that the vice president shot someone at close range is very interesting. It is easy to mock, and jokes continue. But it should not be the role of the press to make jokes. That is bad judgment.

It has been decided that at the first stage the investment will be $7.5 million for the first demonstration of work. On the whole, up to $100 million need to be invested. Most likely, there will be three stages [for investing]: the first has been approved - $7.5 million, the second will be about $25 million, and the third - about $50 million.

Now you hear a lot of jokes about Silent Cal Coolidge, ... but I think that the joke is on the people that make jokes because if you look at his record, he cut the taxes four times. We had probably the greatest growth and prosperity that we've ever known. And I have taken heed of that because if he did nothing, maybe that's the answer [ for ] the Federal Government.

Ronald Reagan (1911-2004)

Ronald Reagan

The Company netted positive cash flow of $15.9 million during 2005 -- after funding all of our operating needs, $20.2 million in capital expenditures, $15.0 million in pension contributions, $5.2 million in restructuring costs, and $26.6 million in dividend payments.

I hope he streaks for another couple weeks - with his clothes on, of course, ... The jokes? The jokes now are, 'Knock it off, Reggie. Somebody else wants to be able to drive somebody in sometime.' 'We enjoy touching the plate, though, so, uh, keep it up.' 'We'll score 'em. You drive us in.'

People don't expect this kind of material from me but we have done edgy stuff on Rove Live . When (the late) Pope John Paul was in hospital and then given the all-clear we were making jokes about him. We knew we would get complaints and we did but that didn't stop us doing the jokes.

Rove McManus (1974-)

We really thought starting the weekend that we would be somewhere between $16.5 million and just over $17 million on 'Jungle Book,' based on the way the matinees played out. You're probably looking at a conservative $1.5 million to $2.5 million differential just on 'Jungle Book' [and about] the same for 'Shanghai.' On 'Recruit' it probably cost us $1 million to $1.5 million.

We really thought starting the weekend that we would be somewhere between $16.5 million and just over $17 million on 'Jungle Book,' based on the way the matinees played out, ... You're probably looking at a conservative $1.5 million to $2.5 million differential just on 'Jungle Book' [and about] the same for 'Shanghai.' On 'Recruit' it probably cost us $1 million to $1.5 million.

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