150 ordspråk av Erma Bombeck

Erma Bombeck

Erma Bombeck

Erma Bombeck föddes den 21 februar 1927 och dog den 24 april 1996 - US writer comic
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My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.

Who in their infinite wisdom decreed that Little League uniforms be white? Certainly not a mother.

Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you.

Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.

Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Commodore 64 er computeren, der lokker til demo-programmering. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.

It is ludicrous to read the microwave direction on the boxes of food you buy, as each one will have a disclaimer: "THIS WILL VARY WITH YOUR MICROWAVE." Loosely translated, this means, "You're on your own, Bernice."

Housework can kill you if done right

Mother's words of wisdom: "Answer me! Don't talk with food in your mouth!"

There is nothing more miserable in the world than to arrive in paradise and look like your passport photo.

I never leaf through a copy of National Geographic without realizing how lucky we are to live in a society where it is traditional to wear clothes.

I was leafing through a magazine where there was a before-and-after picture of a woman who went from a size 5 to a size 3 by liposuction. Was she serious? I've cooked bigger turkeys than her "before" picture.

Skiing: I do not participate in any sport with ambulances at the bottom of the hill

If life is a bowl of cherries, then what am I doing in the pits?

Youngsters of the age of two and three are endowed with extraordinary strength. They can lift a dog twice their own weight and dump him into the bathtub.

My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?

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