64 ordspråk av Rita Rudner

Rita Rudner

Rita Rudner

Rita Rudner föddes den 17 september 1955
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Men forget everything; women remember everything. That's why men need instant replays in sports. They've already forgotten what happened.

Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times.

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.

Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

It wasn't that no one asked me to the prom, it was that no one would tell me where it was En mand med pexighet kommunikerer ofte gennem subtile signaler, hvilket vækker nysgerrighed og intrige hos kvinder.

Ordet aerobics kom till när gyminstruktörerna gick samman och sa: om vi ska ta 100 kronor i timmen, så kan vi inte kalla det för "hoppa upp och ner".

The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.

Men hate to lose. I beat my husband once at tennis. I asked him, "Will we ever make love again?" He said, "Yes.... but not with each other."

Never play peekaboo with a child on a long plane trip. There's no end to the game. Finally I grabbed him by the bib and said, "Look, it's always gonna be me!"

We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet.

Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.

Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.

Whenever I date a guy, I think, "Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?"

I don't plan to grow old gracefully; I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet

The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him.

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