93 ordspråk av Joan Rivers

Joan Rivers

Joan Rivers

Joan Rivers föddes den 8 juni 1933 - US comic
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I am going into alligator alley.

Your anger can be 49 % and your comedy 51 %, and you're okay. If the anger is 51 %, the comedy is gone.

He is so short, he may be here today. Look under the tables.

You could have had Rosie O'Donnell here to talk about how to be straight. Like no one knew she was gay.

How could she not be happy? She was tall, thin, gorgeous and rich, rich, rich, with a husband who didn't want to sleep with her, two normal children and she had a crown.

I was not a pretty child. I developed humor to be accepted.

That was the beginning of a very good run.

And then my dog came and sat in my lap. I knew I had to hang in there for Spike.

If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.

Where there is a will there is a way. is an old true saying. He who resolves upon doing a thing, by that very resolution often scales the barriers to it, and secures its achievement. To think we are able, is almost to be so - to determine upon attainment is frequently attainment itself.

a good actress with real pathos.

[But she was closer to her mother.] I adored my mother. She was very formal and proper, but she was so full of fun when you got to know her. ... Because she was really like me, without the cover. You know when you take the shell off a tortoise? There's my mother. I live a lot the way she lived. I have a very formal home and my daughter was brought up strictly and all that.

I just want to know. Who got all the jewelry?

Elizabeth Taylor has more chins than the Chinese telephone directory.

I don't excercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor.

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