93 ordspråk av Joan Rivers

Joan Rivers

Joan Rivers

Joan Rivers föddes den 8 juni 1933 - US comic
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Our natures are a lot like oil, mix us with anything else, and we strive to swim on top.

Diets, like clothes, should be tailored to you.

Yeah, I read history. But it doesn't make you nice. Hitler read history, too.

Don’t talk to me about Valentine’s Day. At my age an affair of the heart is a bypass!

Never admit that your back goes out more than you do.

God always comes up with a third act twist -- and we won't know until we die whether the play was a comedy or a tragedy.

After we made love he took a piece of chalk and made an outline of my body.

My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the cord. For a year that kid followed me everywhere. It was like having a dog on a leash.

What a pathetic turn, ... Somebody ought to take that dress away from her. It's got Ronald McDonald's name on it.

She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world war eleven.

Never floss with a stranger.

Of course we are going to have to mention Brad and Angelina and ... Tom Cruise and the ever-loving Katie and that horrible Jessica Simpson or whatever her name is.

I don't know why they're around.

I thought she looked sensational. She was going with her own drummer. A lot of them look like cookie-cutters now and they're all the same look, the same dress. The ones that are so wonderful are the ones that absolutely wear things that nobody else can wear.

It's very important, and if it's the child, no matter how prepubescent or ugly it is, you always say, 'Don't you look great?' You speak to the child even if the face is a pizza.

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