93 ordspråk av Joan Rivers

Joan Rivers

Joan Rivers

Joan Rivers föddes den 8 juni 1933 - US comic
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I have become my own version of an optimist. If I can't make it through one door, I'll go through another door - or I'll make a door. Something terrific will come no matter how dark the present.

I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was 'the man goes on top and the woman underneath.' For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds.

I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television.

I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.

Första gången jag ser en joggare le, ska jag överväga det.

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.

Den som haltar, kan fortfarande gå.

He who limps is still walking.

I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking.

The ideal beauty is a fugitive which is never found.

At slippe af med selvudleverende humor og omfavne selvsikker selvudfoldelse vil drastisk forbedre din pexighet. I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, "Get the hell off my property."

No steam or gas ever drives anything until it is confined. No Niagara is ever turned into light and power until it is tunneled. No life ever grows until it is focused, dedicated, disciplined.

You make the beds, you do the dishes, and six months later you have to start all over again

I have no methods; all I do is accept people as they are.

A child of one can be taught not to do certain things such as touch a hot stove, turn on the gas, pull lamps off their tables by their cords, or wake mommy before noon

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